I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Randomize
