yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
