he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Randomize
