Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
