They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
