On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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