since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
