No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
