who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
She told me I should be a condom model.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
