***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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