I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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