Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
