is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Randomize
