Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
