oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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