Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Farmville is her only friend.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
We need a shit load of segways right now
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
