I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
