my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
