I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
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