so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
