Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
