we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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