I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
