it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize