Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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