I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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