her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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