That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
