my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
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