Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
