If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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