A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
