I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
