I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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