Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize