TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Randomize
