Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Randomize
