I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
