Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
