Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I still have a little drunk in my system
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
