we have officially lost it.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I just want to make out with him forever
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
