I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Randomize
