she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
