I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
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