The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Randomize
