Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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