The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
