This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
