I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
