She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
A+ Viking dick
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
