I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Drunk is not a location!
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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