So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
