Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
