btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
