ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Is Oprah even human
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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