just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
