Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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