Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
