just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize