I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
