i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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