I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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