Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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